For married people who had both sexual and non-sexual intimacy issues (not enough of either) did you find that?
regardless of which one you started getting more of, it made the other one better?
For a long time in my marriage I have neither gotten enough non-sexual or sexual intimacy from my wife. But I can recall at one point a year or so back after watching a show on sex addiction where one of the men in Britain was called a sex addict because of wanting sex once a day (crazy brits) she agreed to try out the once a day for 2 weeks to see if it felt like addiction. I didn’t mind the lack of non-sexual intimacy during those two weeks. Currently we’ve been in marital therapy and though I don’t get as much of either as i’d like still, she’s made more of an effort on the non-sexual intimacy side. Previously i’d start getting irritated and cranky after 3 days without sex, but with her being more intimate non-sexually, its not so bad going 5 or 6 days.
Starsfan14, that was sort of what I had expected which is why I asked to see how this has worked for others. My belief before she started putting some effort in would have been that starting to do more of either would just make missing the other worse, as being emotionally closer with less frequent sex still being satisfying just seems counterintuitive. When you are emotionally closest (at least early in the relationship) is also when you are banging away the most often.
My wife wants more emotional intimacy from me; this translates to her wanting to discuss "feelings" all the time. I don’t get it; she can’t be in physical pain that much, so what are these "feelings" she keeps referring to? We go round and round about this. The net result is that I end up masturbating a lot.
You’ve gotten older and your drive has waned.
From an emotional perspective, sex counts as affection for men so it’s interchangeable.
(Not so much for women.)
Your wife is almost certainly holding back a great deal of emotion, violent amounts, to be so distant.
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I have no experience in an increase of either. Just a slow haunting decline in both.
*sigh*
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When my wife refrained from sex and cut me off over a big argument that resulted in my talking to another girl too long at a party last year, she cut me off for two months. She refused to have sex with me and stuck to her guns and didn’t make me dinner and was nice to me verbally, but she meant what she said.
I told her let’s stop this child nonsense and make up. She replied "You seem to want that other girl so go for it, you don’t need me. I seen you smiling and talking to her like she was your wife and I’m your wife, you needed to be talking to me not her."
This was the conclusion to this escapade. I called the florist and had them send my wife six dozen Red Roses and the note read "To my loving wife, you were right and I was wrong, I’m so sorry please forgive me".
When I got home she grabbed me and gave me a big hug and made love to me like we just met 10 years ago.
Women are funny when it comes to sexual preference versus non-sexual preference which ever makes on or the other work it does work. Good Question!!
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Depends on the mood and your partner feelings
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No actually the reverse seems to be true now. At least from his stand point.
For a long time my husband and I were both very sexually distance from each other and emotionally distance. This went on for a couple of years. Between my illness and pregnancies and his change of jobs we just grew apart in so many ways.
Recently we have reconnected – it started off as an emotional connection then the sexual connection remerged. And now it seems like released an animal out of a cage. And he seems to want it constantly several times a day, every day. And before he could go months without asking and he would actually refuse me frequently during that time.
– you were probably missing the emotional side more than you thought. And now that you have it you are more satisfied. As it all needs to come together for good sex.
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I haven’t had intimacy in along time…. Just sex.. thats it!
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My wife wants more emotional intimacy from me; this translates to her wanting to discuss "feelings" all the time. I don’t get it; she can’t be in physical pain that much, so what are these "feelings" she keeps referring to? We go round and round about this. The net result is that I end up masturbating a lot.
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